Prevention and Bystander Resources

Everyone can help build a campus community that respects boundaries and supports others. Learn how to recognize concerning behavior, respond safely, and support a friend who shares an experience of sexual harassment, sexual assault, domestic violence, dating violence, or stalking.

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On this page:

What Is a Bystander?

A bystander is someone who witnesses or becomes aware of a concerning situation. You do not need to be directly involved to help. Recognizing a concern, checking in, or getting assistance can make a difference.

Watch: What Is a Bystander? (YouTube video)

Recognize Concerning Behavior

Pay attention when someone appears uncomfortable, unsafe, or unable to make a clear decision. Examples of concerning behavior include:

    • Ignoring someone's boundaries or continuing unwanted touching or sexual comments.
    • Pressuring someone to participate in sexual activity.
    • Trying to isolate someone who appears significantly impaired or unable to communicate clearly.
    • Threatening, humiliating, or attempting to control a partner.
    • Repeatedly following or contacting someone who wants the behavior to stop.

You do not need to determine whether a policy violation occurred before checking in or asking for help.

Choose a Safe Way to Help

Consider your safety first. You do not have to confront someone or put yourself at risk. If there is immediate danger or a medical emergency, call 911.

    • Speak up when safe. Use a brief statement such as, "They said no," or ask the person, "Are you okay?"
    • Create a distraction. Start a conversation, ask a question, or invite the person to join you elsewhere.
    • Get assistance. Ask a friend, Resident Assistant, University employee, or Public Safety officer to help. Make a specific request rather than assuming someone else will act.
    • Check in afterward. If you could not intervene safely, reach out when it is safe: "I noticed what happened. Are you okay? How can I help?"

For campus safety assistance, contact Public Safety at 618-537-6911.

Support a Friend

Support. Listen. Believe. Take your friend's disclosure seriously and respond with care. Sexual assault is never the survivor's fault.

What Helps

    • Listen without pressing for details. Let your friend decide what to share and allow space for silence.
    • Offer reassurance. Try, "Thank you for telling me," "This was not your fault," or "You deserve support."
    • Ask what they need. You might say, "What would help right now?" or "Would you like me to sit with you while you contact someone?"
    • Respect their choices. Offer information about medical care, confidential support, and reporting without pressuring them to choose a particular option.
    • Ask before touching or hugging. Let your friend decide what feels comfortable.
    • Respect their privacy. Avoid sharing their experience with others without permission, except when necessary to obtain emergency help or meet a reporting responsibility.

What to Avoid

    • Blaming questions such as, "Why did you go there?" or "Why didn't you fight back?"
    • Minimizing the experience or comparing it with someone else's.
    • Investigating, demanding proof, or confronting the person accused.
    • Making decisions for your friend or insisting that they report to police or the University.
    • Threatening revenge or making your friend responsible for managing your reaction.

Support for You, Too

Supporting someone can bring up difficult feelings. You do not have to be a counselor or handle everything yourself. Counseling Services can also help you manage your own reactions while respecting your friend's privacy.

For University employees: Most employees must share reports of sexual harassment with the Title IX Officers. Explain your reporting responsibility before someone shares details when possible. Do not promise confidentiality unless you are serving in a designated confidential resource role.

Find Help or Report a Concern

Supportive measures are available even if a formal complaint is not filed. You can help someone explore these resources without deciding for them.

Emergency: 911
Public Safety: 618-537-6911

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